Halakhah sobre II Samuel 13:40

Anyone who hates a fellow-Jew in his heart, transgresses a negative commandment, as it is said: "Do not hate your brother in your heart."⁴⁰Leviticus 19:17. (See Chapter 189: 5) If anyone has sinned against you, you should not hate him inwardly, and keep quiet about it, as it is written concerning the wicked, "And Avshalom did not speak to Amnon either bad or good because Avshalom hated Amnon,"⁴¹II Samuel 13:22. but it is your duty to let him know [what you think of him] and to say to him,⁴²You should not denounce him publicly and thereby embarrass him, rather chide him in private in a calm and gentle tone of voice. (Mishnah Berurah 156:4). "Why have you done this to me, why have you sinned against me in this matter?", for it is said: "You must admonish your neighbor."⁴³Leviticus 19:17. If the offender regrets it and asks you to forgive him, you should forgive him and not be harsh, for it is said:⁴⁴Genesis 20:17. "And Avraham prayed to God."⁴⁵Asking God to heal Avimelech. Avimelech had taken away Sarah, but returned her to Avraham, expressing sincere remorse. In Avos de Rabbi Nasan (end of Chapter 16) [it is stated] "What is meant by 'hatred of people'?" It conveys this thought: "A person should not think of saying "I will love the scholars but hate the students, I will love the students but hate the unlearned." Rather, you should love them all, but hate the heretics, and those who mislead and entice people, [to abandon the Torah and follow false doctrines], and also [hate] the informers. And thus David said,⁴⁶Psalms 139:22. "Behold, those who hate You Hashem, I hate, and with those who rise up against You, I contend. With utmost hatred do I hate them, they have come to be my enemies." But didn't God say; "Love your neighbor as [you love] yourself, I am Hashem?" For what reason? Because I (God) have created him. And if he keeps the laws of your people you must love him, if not, you should not love him.

When a person suffers the loss [the death] of one for whom he is obligated to mourn, he must tear his garments because of it. He must tear his garments while standing, as it is said, "And the king arose and tore his garments."¹II Samuel 13:31. If he tore his garments while sitting, he has not fulfilled his obligation, and he must again tear his garments while standing. Initially he should tear them before the deceased is covered in the grave, when his sorrow is still intense.

It is from the roots of the commandment [that it is] because there is peace and goodness between people with this. As when a man sins to a man, and he rebukes him privately, he will apologize in front of him, and [the other] will accept his apology and he will be whole (some have the variant, at peace) with him. But if he does not rebuke him, he will loathe him in his heart and injure him at the time or at some [other] point in time, as it is stated about evildoers (II Samuel 13:22), "And Avshalom did not speak with Amnon." And 'all the ways of the Torah are pleasant and its paths are peace.'

The laws of the commandment: That which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Kiddushin 21b) that [the law of] a woman of beautiful form [applies] whether she is a virgin or [is not] or [even if she is] the wife of a man. But it is not permitted to take two, as it is stated, "her" - not "her and her friend." And [also] that which they said (Kiddushin 22a) to not pressure her in the war, but rather he must isolate himself with her in a house - that he not think that the Torah permitted her in any fashion, and even publicly. And she must convert before he marries her as a wife. And after the conversion, he marries her with a marriage contract and betrothal, and the law that pertains to her is like the law of [all] the daughters of Israel. But if she does not want to convert, he puts up with her twelve months and sends her away. And after the month of crying, he waits for her two more months. And (Sanhedrin 21a) if she becomes pregnant from the first intercourse, the offspring is a gentile and not his son for any matter of all the matters - and like the Sages, may their memory be blessed, said (Kiddushin 68b), "Your son that comes from a gentile woman is not your son, but rather her son." And Tamar, the sister of Avshalom, was from the first intercourse of a woman of beautiful form, whereas Avsahlaom was born after the marriage. And it comes out that Tamar was the sister of Avshalom from [the side of] his mother, and [so] permissible to be married to Amnon. And so did it state (II Samuel 13:13), "please speak to the king, as he will not prevent me from you." [These] and the rest of the details of the commandment are in the first chapter of Kiddushin and in Sanhedrin.

The laws of the commandment: That which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Kiddushin 21b) that [the law of] a woman of beautiful form [applies] whether she is a virgin or [is not] or [even if she is] the wife of a man. But it is not permitted to take two, as it is stated, "her" - not "her and her friend." And [also] that which they said (Kiddushin 22a) to not pressure her in the war, but rather he must isolate himself with her in a house - that he not think that the Torah permitted her in any fashion, and even publicly. And she must convert before he marries her as a wife. And after the conversion, he marries her with a marriage contract and betrothal, and the law that pertains to her is like the law of [all] the daughters of Israel. But if she does not want to convert, he puts up with her twelve months and sends her away. And after the month of crying, he waits for her two more months. And (Sanhedrin 21a) if she becomes pregnant from the first intercourse, the offspring is a gentile and not his son for any matter of all the matters - and like the Sages, may their memory be blessed, said (Kiddushin 68b), "Your son that comes from a gentile woman is not your son, but rather her son." And Tamar, the sister of Avshalom, was from the first intercourse of a woman of beautiful form, whereas Avsahlaom was born after the marriage. And it comes out that Tamar was the sister of Avshalom from [the side of] his mother, and [so] permissible to be married to Amnon. And so did it state (II Samuel 13:13), "please speak to the king, as he will not prevent me from you." [These] and the rest of the details of the commandment are in the first chapter of Kiddushin and in Sanhedrin.